Holy Humor/ Mardi Gras Service, 3/2/2025, Lyndale UCC
Rev. Claire Klein
Have you ever had that moment when you felt like you shouldn’t be laughing but you just can’t help it? And then it’s even funnier because you can’t let it out? Like tears in your eyes as you silently try to shush yourself in the middle of your grandpa’s funeral as the pastor mistakenly reads the wrong scripture passage and it’s all about fornication? Or when the cell phone goes off in the middle of your brother’s wedding? Or when your niece decides to wear a T-Rex head costume and wave at people in the other cars while driving to get dinner after your dad’s funeral? Or when in the middle of a Christmas Eve service, your mom was expecting the lyrics of the hymn to be “Christian Friend”, but it was really “Christian Hearts” and in her attempts to fix her wording, she ends up singing “Christian Farts?” Or perhaps when you try to put together a church service about humor in the middle of what feels like a fascist takeover of the government?
In 2015, two people who might seem like pious world religious leaders got together not for a somber ritual but for a discussion about joy, filled with laughter and teasing. Tenzen Gyatso, His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, Archbishop Emeritus of Southern Africa met in person in Dharamsala, India to be interview by writer Douglas Adams and reflected on the importance and essentiality of joy. Their conversations are recorded in The Book of Joy that was published the next year. These two spiritual leaders had only met a few times in person but had a deep connection and bond that often included joking, laughing, dancing, and playfully wagging fingers at each other. They said they each considered the other their “mischievous spiritual brother.”
So why did these two people, who have lived through so much hardship and strife, want to look to joy? What does that even mean? In preparing for this Sunday, Rev. Gail and I were chatting, and I asked, “why are we laughing right now?” It feels difficult. Inappropriate even. Watching our trans beloveds’ rights and existence getting erased, seeing thousands of federal workers lose their jobs which directly affect the ability of others to get aid and services, having neighbors deported and then those who stand up for them receive threats from the White House, hearing about the CDC and FDA gutting the funding for research and public health. None of these – and none of the other unnamed horrific things happening right now – are laughing matters.
When I looked to the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu’s responses to times like these, I was at first quite skeptical and even angry at what their advice was. In a very Buddhist approach, there was a posture of nonattachment recommended. (quote) “Suffering is inevitable, they said, but how we respond to that suffering is our choice. Not even oppression or occupation can take away this freedom to choose our response.” (unquote) Archbishop Tutu went on to explain, (quote) “Anguish and sadness in many ways are things that you cannot control. They happen. Supposing somebody hits you. The pain causes an anguish in you and an anger, and you might want to retaliate. But as you grow in the spiritual life, whether as a Buddhist or a Christian or any other tradition, you are able to accept anything that happens to you. You accept it not as the result of your being sinful, that you are blameworthy because of what has happened – it’s part of the warp and woof of life. It’s going to happen whether you like it or not. There are going to be frustrations in life. The question is not: How do I escape? It is: How can I use this as something positive?” (unquote)
I really wrestled with this. Because how can I accept what is going on? How is it possible to “silver lining” my way out of what feels like a dumpster fire of public policy with real life harmful consequences to people I love? This seemed like too simple a response, especially from two leaders who are personally acquainted with injustice and oppression.
At only 2 years old, His Holiness was discovered to be the reincarnation of the Dalai Lama. Yes, this was an honor, but it meant that he was taken from his rural home in eastern Tibet to the 1,000 room Potala Palace in the capital city Lhasa. Becoming the godlike incarnation of the Bodhisattva of Compassion and spiritual and political leader of Tibet translated to a life of isolation. Then in 1950, China invaded Tibet. The Dalai Lama was only 15 years old, and it was up to him to negotiate with China on behalf of his people and country. Nine years later, during the 1959 Tibetan uprising, the Dalai Lama went into exile to reduce risk of massacre of the Tibetan people. Disguised as a palace guard and without his much-needed glasses, the Dalai Lama traversed through sandstorms and snowstorms and summited a 19,000-foot mountain peak in 3 weeks to escape to India where he has been for over 50 years. Surely, the Dalai Lama must do more than simply accept these circumstances and detach from the impacts in order to find joy?
Archbishop Desmond Tutu has also witnessed deep injustice throughout his life. He was an essential voice in the activism against apartheid rule in South Africa and oversaw the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which meant witnessing and hearing the greatest atrocities that were revealed in that time. He specifically remembered weeping when a man was retelling how he was tortured during apartheid. In reflecting with his staff, he said (quote) “I think we shouldn’t think we are superwomen and supermen. To hold down emotions in a controlled environment, as it were, is not wise. I would say go ahead and even maybe shout out your sadness and pain. This can bring you back to normal. It’s locking them up and pretending that they are not there that causes them to fester and become a wound.” He also admitted feeling angry with God sometimes and remembered how his favorite Biblical prophet Jeremiah would rail against God. Here I was beginning to feel a bit more understood in how I have been feeling in the last few months.
The Dalai Lama continued in identifying that anger is rooted in fear. Where there is fear, frustration will come, and frustration brings anger. He said (quote) “So, you see, fear and anger are very close. One way out of anger, then, is to ask, what is the hurt that has caused our anger, what is the fear that we have?” Being able to live in the detachment that was so easily recommended in the first chapter actually comes from a deep practice of finding compassion, empathy, and connection with others. He went on to say that “there is not a denial of pain and suffering, but a shift in perspective – from oneself and toward others, from anguish to compassion.” And that is where we find joy. The joy that animates our lives and gives meaning.
Archbishop Tutu draws these observations about humanity near the conclusion of the book as a way to be rooted in his compassion. He said, (quote) “It is also good to recognize – speaking from our struggle against apartheid – how incredibly noble people are. You know human beings are basically good. You know that’s where we have to start. That everything else is an aberration. Anything that swerves away from that is the exception – even when now and again they can be very frustrating. People are remarkably, remarkably, remarkably good, incredible in their generosity. And we had the opportunity of seeing this, especially during the Truth and Reconciliation Commission in South Africa. It was amazing to listen to people who had suffered, not only black people, you know, white people, too. Not only South Africans, but Americans…. We’ve always got to be recognizing that despite the aberrations, the fundamental thing about humanity, about humankind, about people, is that they are good, they were made good, and they really want to be good. Yes, there are many, many things that can depress us. But there also are very many things that are fantastic about our world. Unfortunately, the media do not report on these because they are not seen as news…. (the quote continues) I say to people that I’m not an optimist, because that, in a sense, is something that depends on feelings more than the actual reality. We feel optimistic, or we feel pessimistic. Now, hope is different in that it is based not on the ephemerality of feelings but on the firm ground of conviction. I believe with a steadfast faith that there can never be a situation that is utterly, totally hopeless. Hope is deeper and very, very close to unshakable. It’s in the pit of your tummy. It’s not in your head. It’s all here,” he said, pointing to his abdomen. Despair can come from deep grief, but it can also be a defense against the risks of bitter disappointment and shattering heartbreak. Resignation and cynicism are easier, more self-soothing postures that do not require the raw vulnerability and tragic risk of hope. To choose hope is to step firmly forward into the howling wind, baring one’s chest to the elements, knowing that, in time, the storm will pass.” (unquote)
Hope. Hope is the root of joy. Hope is what keeps us dancing and gives us energy to keep showing up and laugh, even in the middle of the storm. So may be this is not a time where we have to be self-conscious about laughing. This is a chance to defy the messages of “you are not welcome here” or “you must exist in the way that I deem is right” with a smile and laugh in an important act of civil disobedience. Elaine Nichols of the National Museum of African American History and Culture, explains this idea of “Black Joy” by writing (quote) “When people live in a world that devalues them because they are black or brown as well as dismisses their contributions to the larger society, Black Joy is and has been an effective tool that has allowed individuals and groups to shift the impact of negative narratives and events in their favor. Black Joy is an affirmation and an action that claims control where we can. It is not escapism or a way of avoiding reality. It is active acknowledgement that your reaction to even the most horrific encounter resides with you and not someone else. It is an internal choice that is not a fantasy. It is not delusional. It is real.” (unquote) For people who are targeted by authoritarian rule, sharing a meal, a big belly laugh, making music, dancing, loving boisterously – these are nourishing, life-affirming, defiant, and essential acts. May we find these moments and help make safe spaces for these moments in the days to come.
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